Saturday, November 17, 2012

What a lame vampire.

It's Friday night. Time to go out with the guys or go out with the prettiest chick in town. Well, Instead of doing any of those things, I spent Friday night alone, bored, and watched Este Vampiro Es Tiro (aka "This Vampire Is A Hit").

In Este Vampiro Es Un Tiro, a vampire (Ruben Aguirre) wishes to be human because being a vampire sucks. The sight of blood freaks him out big time and instead of flying around in bat form, he drives around in a motorcycle (cool, huh?). As you can tell, this vampire does not want to be a vampire (geez). One night, the vampire helps an injured dude out and they quickly become best friends. The vampire falls for his new best friend's sister (the girl from Un Corazon Para Dos). He then hooks up with her. Then out of nowhere some bank robbers appear and hide the stolen money in the vampire's mansion. The money is then found by vampire & friends. They spend all the money on cool shit. The robbers get pissed off and try to kill em off. Then... Well lets just say the movie ends good. I guess.... 

This movie sucks. Este Vampiro Es Un Tiro's trailer promises "a great comedy for the whole family" and I seriously disagree with that because this movie is an absolute waste of time. Do you really want to spend quality family time watching this shit? Play some board games. Watch Danik or some Disney movie. Eat at a cheap pizza place. Do not watch Este Vampiro Es Un Tiro with your family. Please do not do that. Don't fuck with your family now. Please.

As I attempted to keep watching Este Vampiro Es Un Tiro, I thought about how my life was going. Oh sure, lots of great important things are going on but I still feel like something is missing, ya know? I don't feel complete. I feel like there's this puzzle piece missing on me. There is something I really need in order to feel complete or else I'll feel weird & sad. What I need is someone to care for. Someone to love. Someone to laugh with. Someone to watch To Catch A Predator and eat totino's pizza rolls with. Someone to stroll in the park with. Someone to be there for in their time of need. I need a girl. yeah, we all need that special someone and as we watch others with their special someones, you can't help but feel envious and depressed because you don't have that. Sigh.

Ah, hell. I hope one day I do find someone to love and do corny stuff with (hopefully). I also hope to never ever, ever watch Este Vampiro Es Un Tiro again. It is a boring movie and its not funny at all (seriously). Don't watch this movie. Please don't. I beg you. Really. Don't. No. NO. NO. NO. 1/10.


No comments: