Monday, June 11, 2012

Rhythm, Betrayal, and Death.

It's 1991. You're in a dirty little dance hall somewhere in Mexico. Inside that dance hall, you see all these scrappy looking couples dancing to catchy cumbia songs. Ever wonder who these people are? What are their names? What do they do when they're not dancing? Do you really want to know? Well then, watch Ritmo, Traicion y Muerte: La Cumbia Asesina ( aka "Rhythm, Betrayal, and Death: Killing Cumbia") to find out!

In the opening of La Cumbia Asesina, an attractive woman named Carmen (Eva Garbo) walks the dirty streets of Mexico. She's wearing a tight red polka dot dress and man oh man.. Does it look good on her! Carmen is obviously the hottest chick in town since men on the streets stare at her and catcall her. Carmen being feisty & all, flips them all off and keeps on walking. After walking the streets and prayed to the Virgin Mary, Carmen heads out to a sleazy little joint to dance the night away. Super Grupo Colombia plays the music. The type of music they play is cumbias. Carmen loves cumbias. After dancing, she and her dance partner (a sleazy ol' fool) are taken to an abandoned building by corrupt cops. These corrupt cops have taken them because they want to rip em' off. After the ol' fool is ripped off by the head cop Dracula (Sebastian Ligarde), Dracula then meets with Carmen. At first, Dracula and Carmen talk shit to each other, then next thing you know, they start to make out and then they have rough/passionate sex.

From then on, Carmen begins to see Dracula on a daily basis. Dracula takes Carmen shopping, they wine & dine at a fancy restaurant, and then they have nasty oral sex in a morgue. Apparently, the rotten smell of dead people turns Carmen on.

After seeing each other for a while, Dracula sorta looses interest in Carmen and so he starts to avoid her at all costs. Carmen; feeling lonely & all, starts seeing another guy. This new guy is "El Combi" (Jorge Luke). El Combi is the leader of a ruthless punk gang. He may be poor & dirty, but he sure knows how to please Carmen! He goes out dancing with her and gives her a good banging every now & then. Apparently, Combi is a much better lover than Dracula (uh-oh!).

When Dracula finds out Carmen is seeing another guy; he grows furious, he beats Carmen up a little, and he also tries to find the guy she's been seeing so he can kill him (uh-oh!).

Carmen, torn between two men; can't decide who she should be with. Should she get back with egotistical & evil Dracula? Or should she just stick with dirty ol' but good hearted Combi? Since Carmen can't decide for herself, she lets 'fate' decide for her. Was that a good move? Well, watch the fucking movie to find out.

La Cumbia Asesina is such a wonderful piece of Mexican trash. From start to finish, there's always something to keep you glued to the tv screen!

For Example:

The violence in La Cumbia Asesina is ridiculously great. There's shootings, fist fights, blows to the heads with steel pipes, steel pipes going up rapist cop's butt holes, and then there's bloody stabbings of course. My favorite kill of the movie is when El Combi stabs an old wino. The old wino asks for money, Combi tells him to fuck off, the old man spits on his pants, then Combi stabs the old wino in the stomach. Amazing, huh?

Now let's not forget about the sex in the movie! Good lord, is this movie sexual! There's pussy eating inside a morgue, rough sex in a cheap ass hotel, rough sex in an abandoned building, and a poor man gets sodomized by a transvestite hooker. Also, there's plenty of sexual innuendos in the movie. For example, when Carmen beats up Combi's other girl 'La Pulga', she tells him she's "La Reina" (The Queen) and begins to suck his cock. As she sucks his cock, a song called "Boquita De Caramelo" (Caramel Mouth) plays. Now that is clever and oh so funny!!!

As I said before; Ritmo, Tracion y Muerte: La Cumbia Asesina is a wonderful piece of Mexican trash. It is so filthy, weird, and hilarious. It's basically a John Waters movie set in Mexico. Like John Waters movies? Like cumbia music? Like punk gangs? Like hot Mexican women with lots of make-up on? Well then, watch this movie! You'll love it. 10/10.


Eva Garbo, We love you & we miss you very much. Please come back to the movies. A lot of us fans miss seeing "La Reina" and "La Boquita De Caramelo" on our tv's.

So please Miss Garbo, come out of obscurity and get back in the movies.

Sincerely & with much love,

raculfright_13, Payasito, Alberto, 90's Mexican Paranoid Father, and a bunch of middle aged nacos from all over Mexico and the USA.

1 comment:

Jack J said...

Great review, mate. Was this ever on dvd? Is there a fan subbed version, do you know?