Thursday, January 26, 2012

The Ice Cream Man loves you.

In Ice Cream Man, a little boy in the 1950's witnesses his beloved ice cream man gunned down by mobsters. Witnessing that brutal murder made the boy go nuts and sent to a strange mental hospital where he spent almost all his life being treated. In the present time (1995) the boy is now a middle aged man (played by Clint Howard) that is an ice cream man! Too bad he's not a friendly ice cream man, he's not even a clean one either. The truck is filled with rats and it's all gooey looking in there. Lots of ice cream & blood smeared all over the truck. Reason why there is blood in the truck is because Ice Cream Man loves serving his ice cream with human body parts. Dog parts too. Now you're probably thinking, "this muthafuckin' ice cream man kills kids and puts em in da ice cream". well you're wrong! Very wrong! He actually only kills adults. Bad ones too. Ice Cream Man loves kids, he would never harm em at all. He'll just kidnap em and turn em into ice cream man lovin' zombies is all!

Love horror movies? Got kids? Watch Ice Cream Man with them then. This movie is pretty much a horror movie for kids. Sure it's bloody, but the story is (sorta) kid friendly and the characters are extremely cartoony. Speaking of the characters, best character of the movie is Tuna. Tuna is a fat kid, but the thing is.. He's not really fat! The actor that plays him just wears a pillow under his shirt. Isn't that hilarious? Hahahahahaha! Anyway, I love Ice Cream Man. It's a dumb little movie with blood to please gorehounds and it is cheesy enough to please children and weirdos like myself. Check It out if you haven't already. Seen it already? Revisit it please! 5/10.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Kill All The Punks!

A gang of vicious punks enter the home of a doctor (Fernando Almada). The gang fuck around with the doctor and his family, then they kill the family. The doctor is left for dead but of course he survives. After a brutal recovery, the doctor leaves the hospital with only revenge on his mind. With the help of a suicidal woman, the doctor gathers the vicious punk gang in an abandoned building so he can kill them all in the craziest ways possible!

Just when I thought there was no more crazy Mexican punk movies for me to watch, I find Ansiedad Asesina (aka "Killer Anxiety"). This movie is freaking awesome, man. Plot may not be all that original (of course), but some the killings are very original! When the punks enter the building, they find pictures on the walls. The pictures are drawings of their horrible demises. Some of these drawings are painted in blood! Wowza! The first kill is simple, punk guy finds the suicidal chick wanting him, they make out, then the doctor bashes his back with a hatchet. Another punk dude is burned, one is drowned (looks real too!), then a punk girl enters a toy room and is brutally stabbed in the neck! The suicidal girl is in the toy room dressed as a doll. FanFuckingTastic!!!!!!!!

Violent. Weird. Sleazy. Insane. 90's as fuck. Ansiedad Asesina is a great Mexican punk trash movie. It is a must watch. You won't hate it. I promise. 8/10.