Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Psycho In A Ski Mask ruined my Prom Night.

I remember my Senior Prom. It was fucking awful. I wanted to take "Nadine Bower" to prom but she rejected the fuck outta me because she was going to prom with a metalhead. Since Nadine was taken, I decided to ask Dream Girl no.1, "Melinda Maloney". I've had a crush on Melinda Maloney since junior year. She is a beauty... She's a brunette, she's small, has beautiful brown eyes, and back then she had bangs that made my heart melt like ice cream in a hot car trunk. So yeah, I got the balls to ask her and she said 'yes'. I couldn't believe the prettiest girl in school said yes to me because let's face it, I'm a weirdo. Why would a girl like Melinda Maloney want to go to Prom with me?

So, we went to prom and did not talk to each other for quite a while. All we did at first was talk to our friends and sat next to each other awkwardly and quietly. It was awful (very). Then, The Fray's "Never Say Never" started to play, I decided me and Melinda Maloney were going to dance to at least one song. I asked her if she'd like to dance, she said yes, and we headed to the dance floor.

As Never Say Never played, we danced. It was nice (very). We also started talking about random things, she talked about some CW show, I talked about my search for a killer midget clown doll movie. From there, we looked into each other's eyes... the feeling of 'love' was mutual.... But to prove it, we had to kiss. Our faces (slowly) were coming closer so that we can have an epic kiss that would bring us together... Unfortunately, it didn't happen. Why? Well, It turns a psycho in a ski mask was killing some of the prom goers and one of the heads that he chopped off flew across the dance floor and it landed between Melinda Maloney and I. It was an awful view, we ran out of the school gym and never saw each other again.....

It's Prom Night at Hamilton High! Girls are getting dressed up beautifully and guys are all tuxedo'd up! Hours before Prom, a creep is calling some of the popular prom goers, but why though? Well, these prom goers did something very awful when they were kids. The creep on the phone wants them to pay back for what they've done six years ago. Blood will be spilled, Heads will roll all over the place, and necks will be slit quickly.

Prom Night, a movie I've loved since I was kid. It used to be on cable quite a lot, I'd always watch it whenever it was on and be fascinated by how awesome it was. The plot is decent (fairly detailed), and the characters are very likable (especially Slick!). Unfortunately there's not much gore in this movie. So if you're a gorehound, you might wanna skip this movie because this movie doesn't deliver much blood and gore to satisfy your craving. Sorry!

Obviously I prefer this movie than it's 'sequel', because after all, the sequel sucks big time. I recommend you only watch this Prom Night movie, fuck the others. Especially the shitty 'remake'. 7/10.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The Ultimate College Slasher Flick.

It's Rush Week at Tambers College, so you know what that means! Parties! Bike Races! Stupid Pranks! Fat guys wearing Hawaiian Shirts! Sex with a corpse! Taking pictures with a corpse! And a psycho killing off dirty coeds with an axe!

So there's this student reporter named "Toni" who's supposed to be writing about Rush Week, she's not really interested in it because it's fucking stupid, but luckily, she found something very interesting to write about. Turns out a (busty) coed has been missing for 2 days, her roommate is upset, the Dean doesn't give a shit. Toni suspects something very odd is going on with this missing coed, so she decides to investigate on what happened to this (busty) coed. Well, turns out this coed was modeling for a creep obsessed with necrophilia, he'd have her dress slutty and pose with an actual corpse. From there Toni tries to find out who the photographer is and at the same time, a man wearing a goulish old man mask and a black robe is killing off dirty coeds because according to his IM message to Toni (I guess it's an IM message, I don't know), "Death Purifies".

Rush Week is a really, really, really fun movie! Seriously! This movie is basically a college sex comedy/slasher, and if you know me (which I'm sure you do since you read this ridiculous blog!), then you know that I love slashers and sex comedies. The sex comedy stuff is great, there's lots of boobs, stupid sexual lines, a fat guy wearing a Hawaiian shirt (!!!), and there's a ridiculous prank involving a prostitute having sex with a corpse (really). As for the slasher stuff, there's blood and gore, nice chase scenes, lights out scenes, and the killer's costume is awesome. It's just a robe and a ghoulish old man mask. That's awesome in my book!

This is the ultimate college slasher flick, it's a shame this movie doesn't have a big cult status because this movie deserves to have one. Readers, please check this fucking movie out. Thanks. 8/10.