Sunday, May 15, 2011

Hell High, Hell No.

I always thought Hell High was an 80's school slasher. You know, like someone at school gets killed, then the people responsible for the death get killed AT THE SCHOOL. But noooo, Hell High isn't like that at all!

Hell High starts off with a little girl seeing her dolly's head torn off by a pervy greaser, this angers her a lot, so she decides to pull a prank on him and his prude girlfriend (she really was a prude). And so, she grabs a bucket of dirt and throws it at the greaser as he and his gal ride away on a motorcycle. When the dirt hits the greaser, he crashes the bike, and gets stabbed hard by some steel bars coming out of the ground! The girlfriend also gets stabbed by these steel bars. (Ouch!!!!)

The little girl looks at the dying couple and runs off. Then like maybe 20 some years later, that little girl is now a science teacher at a high school, she's a nervous one though and she's constantly harassed by a group of mean students. One night, these mean students decide to mess with their nervous teacher by beating her and raping her! After the beating and rape, the teacher kills herself by jumping out of a window. Naturally (or in this case, Supernaturally), she comes back to life and kills off the mean students one by one.

Yeah, see. That's it. It's no school slasher!! It's just some dumb revenge movie. Hell High is seriously disappointing, even if you know what it is about, I'm pretty damn sure you won't like it and be super disappointed by it. The problems with the movie is that it's not long enough, the setting is ugly, the characters are super annoying, and the bloody ending doesn't make sense at all.

I was disappointed and irritated when I finished watching this shit. I'll probably never watch it again. Or maybe I will just for the shower scene, the shower scene is probably the only good scene of the movie. It's just showing the teacher washing her fantastic body and then starts fingering herself. It's Beautiful. Seriously. 4/10.


The Goodkind said...

Yours is probably the best review of this movie ever. I got a DVD with a Joe Bob Briggs commentary track and I thought he was watching a different movie.

raculfright_13 said...

Really? Thanks :)

From what I've read on IMDb and other various forums, The DVD was cut (due to some glitch) by like a few minutes. That glitch obviously affected the commentary.