Thursday, April 21, 2011

Hey R.O.T.O.R., "We've Got To Find Our Hideaway!"

When I bought R.O.T.O.R. on VHS a couple of years ago, I was happy because I was finally going to witness the hilarious Robo-Cop/Terminator rip-off. And so you know, after watching it, I laughed... I laughed til I cried. Like Yermo, but this was actual laughter, not depressing/psychopathic laughter. Now, why did I laugh so much? Well first of all, the acting (or "dubbing"; According to the credits) is atrocious, the special effects are ridiculous, and.... The music is extremely super fucking cheesy...... I'll tell you more about the music right after I explain to you what R.O.T.O.R. is about. Okay? Ok.

R.O.T.O.R. is about R.O.T.O.R. (Robotic Officer of the Tactical Operation Research), a cyborg that is programmed to fight crime. R.O.T.O.R. is still in the works so it's not ready to do any crime fighting... Yet. Then in the late hours of the night, a Token Native-American dude accidentally fucks up a computer and sets R.O.T.O.R. freeeee! When released, R.O.T.O.R. goes on a "crime fighting" (Killing) spree all over Dallas, TX. It's up to R.O.T.O.R.'s creators "Dr. Coldyron" and the manly "Dr. Steele" to stop R.O.T.O.R. from "crime fighting".

R.O.T.O.R. is hilariously bad in every way, there is nothing good about this movie at all, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it can't be watched and liked for how terrible it is. It's funny, and we all like to laugh; Right? 

So anywho, back to the music part!

The music in R.O.T.O.R. is extremely super fucking cheesy. In the beginning, An ugly country song is played as Dr. Coldyon prepares his morning cup of coffee (In A Texas Sized Coffee Cup!). Then, a steamy romantic duet is played as Coldyron meets with his girlfriend at some fancy 80's restaurant. The steamy romantic duet is amazing and extremely fucking cheesy, it's called "Hideaway", it's basically just about finding a place (ahem a Hideaway) to have sex at, but not just any sex... Steamy and Romantic Sex. Like the kind you see in ABC soap operas.

Awful shit at it's best, you all need to see R.O.T.O.R. because it will make you laugh a lot, and I want you all to laugh because laughing makes us happy. We all want to be happy, right? Right! 

I'm gonna give this 3/10 because a 5 would not be fair at all. So, 3/10 it is. Enjoy.
     And now ladies and gentlemen, I present to you.... "Hideaway"!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ty said...

Willard The Robot is Awesome! And you are right, Hideaway is a killer song!

raculfright_13 said...

Ty, have you found your Hideaway?

Ty said...

Haha. I have, It is R.O.T.O.R.!

T.D.P. said...

What's not to like about this film? Wait, there's a lot not to like about it but i guess we just sympathize with it like a battered puppy. Laughed my arse off. Decided to get some friends together to "riff" it along with others of that time. Let me know what you think?