Monday, May 17, 2010

Jason Impey's newest flick "Tormented" really impressed me.

Here we are with another Jason Impey flick, this is his latest one and it's called "Tormented". I watched it on Saturday night and I was expecting it to be a gore flick but it was not really that, it had some gore but not as much as I was expecting, this turned out to be a very sad and creepy film. Let me explain.

The movie is about a chick named "Faye" that is just sitting in a bench minding her own business when all of a sudden she's being stalked by a man, she gets chased around for a little bit and then the man knocks her out, puts her in the trunk of his car and drives off somewhere. Next thing you know we see Faye tied up in a chair and the man is preparing for a brutal torture which was just one thing really (screwdriver stabbed in her knee), after that we find out why the man is doing this. The man turns out to be someone Faye knew by the name of "Robert" from high school, Robert was always picked on by Faye and her friends, Robert also liked Faye a lot but she didn't care at all which is why she and her boyfriend at the time pulled a really nasty Valentine's Day prank on him which really bothered him and made him crazy. We also find out Robert has been killing off all the people that use to pick on him in school and Faye is the last one, of course she isn't ignorant so she fights back and it ends violent and sort of creepy.

The movie turned out to be an emotional psycho story rather than a gore flick but was it bad? Nah, but I did wish we could of seen flashbacks of the bullying and learn more about Robert's past, to me that would of made the movie a bit better and longer too since the whole movie was only 36 minutes long. I hope Jason Impey does some sort of follow up to this movie because I really enjoyed the story because it felt real. 6/10.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

You're "Criminally Insane" and you need to stop eating so damn much.

"Criminally Insane" (also known as "Crazy Fat Ethel") is about a woman named "Ethel" that has just gotten out of a mental hospital and is living with her grandmother, sounds okay eh? Well no, Ethel is such a fattie! She constantly eats a lot of food and her grandmother wants her to stop so she locks up the food in a cabinet, Ethel of course gets pissed so she stabs her poor ol' grandmother to death! So later on she realizes there isn't anymore food in the house so she has a grocery store deliver her food, unfortunately Ethel doesn't have enough money to pay for it so she kills the delivery boy, then her prostitute sister comes over to stay and Ethel lets her even though she has dead bodies rotting in the house, then her sister's boyfriend comes to stay, they get high, she goes out to work, he's just being weird and what is Ethel doing? Eating of course! And trying to get rid of the bodies since everyone is smelling something funny in the house.

She realizes she can't have her sister and her boyfriend living there anymore so she kills them both and hides the body in the grandmother's room (where the other dead ones are).
After the last 2 murders, the movie revolves around Ethel trying to get rid of the bodies, she tries a few things but they don't work out til finally she does something very disgusting and horrifying, I won't say what it is but it was something that she should of done a looong time ago since she's a fatass. The movie was weird but funny, I was pretty much entertained through out the whole time so I'm glad it wasn't boring at all. If you want to see a movie about a fat woman killing people, then check this movie out but don't watch the sequels because apparently they're terrible and not worth it. 7/10.

Monday, May 3, 2010

"She Freak" = Carny Drama.

I always thought this was a horror movie, not just because of the title but the plot sounded like it, boy was I wrong! The movie was more of a drama with a tea spoon of Exploitation and a horror ending, Sounds ok right? Well yeah but I just wished it was a horror movie instead. Anyway, let's get down to business.


She-Freak is about a country girl named "Claire", she works at this cheap gas station/cafe where her boss is just pervy with her and deals with bullshit everyday. Claire gets tired of it so she gets a job at a carnival working as a waitress for a food stand, she meets a stripper, befriends her, talks about life with her and all that stuff. Claire's mission in life however is being someone, she doesn't want to be some waitress, she wants to have it all and she'll just do about anything to get it and then she meets a rich man that works at the carnival who owns the FreakShow. They date and then marry, things seem going well for Claire since she's getting nice clothes and staying at nice hotels, of course she doesn't really give a crap about her husband though since she fools around with the ferris wheel operator by the name of "Blackie". The midget that works for Claire's husband finds out about this affair so he tells his boss about it and doesn't believe it til one night he comes early from work and sees Blackie leaving the hotel room, they get into a big fight and Blackie stabs Claire's husband to death, Claire looks at her husband dying and just smiles at him in a mean snooty way. She didn't care because now she owns the FreakShow and is richer than ever, she fires the midget and all the carnies are mad at her for doing that but does she care? Nah, she just continues smoking her cigar and counting the money she's making. Later that night she's approached by the midget holding a knife and in the back of her some freaks with weapons appear and somehow she's turned into an ugly freak of nature that ends up being the main attraction of the FreakShow.

So that's pretty much how the movie goes, there isn't a point to it really and it wasn't all that fun as I thought it would be. Don't expect to see freaks through out the whole movie because they barely appear and it just focuses on Claire's little bullshit instead, so it's basically a drama movie that takes place in a carnival and uses the Freaks ending as the money shot. If you like movies that are shot on carnivals, sleazy characters and midgets wearing cowboy hats then you might enjoy it, I would just rent this movie If I was you, don't buy it unless you really like it which I kinda doubt will happen haha. 5/10.